Showing posts with label MisterSpruce. Show all posts

Lessons For Our Game With The Devils...

23rd April 2013 By Misterspruce


After our somewhat lackluster performance against Fulham, I only hope our boys would go into the match against the devils on Sunday bearing the following points in mind:

1. Do not NOT take advantage of a team less one man before the 1st half ends. Do a Mortal Kombat fatality move and finish it.

2. Do not play a high defence and commit more men forward than you would like and therefore struggle to tame the opposing team on the counter. We're lucky that was Fulham; of-course a team like Man-U, Chelsea and City, even Tottenham (like they did when we met them last) would have made us suffer for it.

3. Do not allow a team less one man play like they have thirteen (13) and press the sh*! out of you. In most of the 2nd half, we were on the back foot, even worse after pretty boy Giroud got sent off.

4. Do not make tackling an opposing team player an afterthought like Giroud did, it could painfully earn you a red card; something we cannot afford to do against the devils under the auspices of Sorcerer Ferguman.

5. Do remember that we actually do need Champions League football next season, not because we want to save face but because most of the players we hope would come to Drayton Park would only come if they can get Champions League football. If you mess up, nothing for you, Nada, zip, zilch! Capice?

6. Do not frolic about the pitch on Sunday boys, stop trying to top the table for the most passes in a game in the EPL, just shoot the friggin' ball into the friggin' net! *venting*

7. Do settle for at least a draw at Old Trafford. It's not impossible.

8. Put 'Judas-the-glass knees' (you know who I'm talking about) in his place, make him invisible, let people wonder if he's on the pitch at all. Scum.

The devils would want to finish up the job in front of their home fans, let's not give them the pleasure. Let's make life difficult for them. Bloody difficult.

Thanks for reading! Please comment on this post, subscribe by email, share with friends and follow me on twitter (@Misterspruce1).

Exclusive : What We Do on the Interlull

24th March 2013 By Mister Spruce
One boing, two boings, three boingses...
Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you've heard it, said it, felt it and maybe like the rest of us, you've hated it. But it's here and there's nothing we can do about it, we might as well count sheep and let the interlull go by.

While we wait for the football to start off once again, here's me telling you the 5 types of Arsenal fans and what they do during their 'interlulling' days...


1. The Rumour Mongers


What they do: Concoct the 'concotables'.


Breaking News: Arsene Wenger to Splash £200m on Neymar, Gotze, Alves, Jovetic and Pique!


"Nay!" Neymar says to Arsene, " I Can't Come to the Emirates While You've Got Gotze and 'Alve' Alvez and Jovial Jovetic!


And so, we find our forums, blogs and newspapers splattered with rumours you wished were true and secretly dreamt of the night Bayern trounced the Arsenal 3-1. Who can blame you? Not me, because, if wishes were Ferraris, I'll hop in for a ride.

2. The Tacticians


What they do: Conjure up the 'conjurables'.

Now the tacticians won't necessarily spread or believe the rumours but they act on the 'What if's' and work with that. 

I love those guys. Analysis of the 'What if's'. 

What if Arsene actually bought Neymar and paired him upfront with Jovetic while having a strong bench featuring OG (Oliver Giroud) and Poldi (Podolski)? What if Santi Carzola can work his magic in the midfield with Gotze and Wilshere with Arteta playing Anchor-man? What if Dani Alvez can replace Sagna just because he can? Pique in our central defence would be heavenly!

So they conjure up the formation below and so forth...



3. The Bloggers


What they do: Write blog posts moaning about the interlull and lack of football.
Well,  I am guilty, and so is arseblog and every other blogger who decides to blog at this time. We can't help it, our brains say "Don't do it!" but the fingers type " Oh miserable, despicable interlull". To err is human.

4. Twitter'ers

What they do: They get on twitter and moan some more about the interlull and lack of football. PS: Some of them are bloggers too. *grin*



5.  The Serial Soap Opera Huggers 


What they do: They binge on fish&chips and 6 cans of  Carlsberg and Stella while watching Days of Our Lives wishing it was Arsenal v Swansea.

Pathetic.

If you think I left any group out, please mention them in the comments below or follow me @Misterspruce1 or follow this blog @Arsenal_Supremo

Yours in football,

Mister Spruce

Writer Bio:


Wohritdo? (my version of What's up). Arsenal Supremo says I need to introduce myself. This was an afterthought mind you, so forgive me.

I fell in love with Henry at first sight, never mind his big head *sigh*, and then he became hotter with every goal he scored for the Arsenal. And then there's the undying passion for and belief he has in the Arsenal. *double sigh* Okay, that's enough, a girl is allowed to dream. The days of the Invincibles and the French Connection with Pires, Wiltord, Viera and Henry... okay plus Bergkamp even though he ain't French, saw me brand my heart with the Arsenal crest. No matter how much I get angry at the club or the manager, I can't get rid of the brand, it's permanent. 

I lived at the Ashburton Triangle Flats for 3 months, just to get the feel, a one bedroom bled me £800 p/m in rent but I needed to live the experience. That was where my re-vamped blog- Mister Spruce - was born and that is where I hold some of my fondest memories of the time I lived in England.

I write match reviews, satire, light comedy all on Arsenal. I also write style on a budget for menswear. I'm a girl.
Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)